Most of us do not "cope with stress" in alarming and dramatic ways. We often unconsciously ritualize it. I'm here to say, your natural stress response is not a flaw. It is simply a learned ritual your nervous system returns to for safety.
So, what is your stress-response ritual? Well, you might be surprised.
This post is all about how to identify your stress response!
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Easily Identify Your Stress Response Ritual
3 Question Quiz...
Question #1: When you feel stressed, overwhelmed or emotionally-drained what do you reach for first?
- Glass of wine or a cocktail
- Snack, sweets, or something comforting
- Scrolling or watching TV
- Productivity like cleaning, organizing, or working more
Question #2: When does this usually show up in your day?
- End of day when all is said and done!
- Mid-afternoon
- Late at night, or before bed
- Whenever emotions are feeling big
Question #3: When you do this ritual, what is your end result?
- Relief and relaxation
- Comfort
- Numbness
- A sense of control
For me, I find I have varying ritualistic tendencies. When I feel overwhelmed by emotions I tend to clean like a mad woman, but when I feel tired in the evening I have a different ritual.
Pick your most common, or top of mind, ritual and move through the questions!
Why these results matters to you
At the end of the day we can conclude the style of your ritual in terms of what you are seeking and be able to transform it.
The Results
Though, we can draw many conclusions based on this quiz... And this is not and exhaustive list by any means! However, for the sake of ease, we can get a baseline idea of the ritual style you default to.
We have decompression rituals, stabilizing rituals, soothing rituals, and numbing rituals.
If you chose:
End of day + relief — You're using decompression rituals
Comfort + emotions — You're using numbing or soothing rituals
Numbness + evening — You're using numbing and decompression rituals
Control + productivity — You're using stabilizing ritual
When I started to drink less alcohol, avoid sugars, etc, I still needed some type of vice. And that is totally normal, so even with a holistic lifestyle we can still have stress-response rituals that we default back to...
What we can do about our stress regulation
Of course, this depends on your specific behavior, but for me, designing a better relationship with alcohol and balancing my circadian rhythm and hormones has been a game changer!
Some resources to start finding balance + regulation:
- Best alternatives to alcohol for anxiety + nervous system support
- A restorative morning schedule for hormones balance
Our stress-response ritual, also, does not have to be an issue. Our intentions are what matter. If you workout when you are stressed, most likely, that is going to be good for you! Right?
It's when we lack intention, and awareness, that we can see the disconnect. Let's make our rituals deep, nourishing, and intentional.